Approval junkies
Understanding the Approval-Seeking Trap
Approval junkies are individuals who crave validation and affirmation from others to an excessive degree. Their self-worth is often tied closely to the approval and acceptance they receive from those around them. This constant need for external validation can lead to a range of behaviours and tendencies that shape their interactions and decision-making processes.
Why Do We Crave External Validation?
Firstly, approval junkies may go to great lengths to please others, often sacrificing their own needs, desires, and values in the process. They may say yes to requests or agree with opinions simply to gain approval, even if it goes against their true feelings or beliefs.
Secondly, these individuals may struggle with setting boundaries and asserting themselves in relationships and situations. Fear of rejection or disapproval may drive them to avoid conflict at all costs, leading to difficulties in expressing their true thoughts and feelings.
Moreover, approval junkies may experience heightened anxiety and stress when they perceive a lack of validation or acceptance from others. Their self-esteem may fluctuate depending on the feedback they receive, making them vulnerable to feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness.
Ultimately, breaking free from the cycle of seeking approval externally is essential for approval junkies to cultivate a stronger sense of self-worth and authenticity. This journey often involves introspection, self-awareness, and learning to validate oneself from within, rather than relying solely on external sources of validation.
Steps to Cultivate Inner Self-Worth
How to reduce this tendency.
Awareness:
Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours in social interactions. Notice if you often seek validation or approval from others before making decisions or expressing yourself. Acknowledge any patterns of people-pleasing or prioritising others' opinions over your own.
Action: Practice self-reflection and journaling to explore your motivations and underlying beliefs about seeking approval. Identify situations where you tend to seek validation and consider alternative ways of responding that align with your values and priorities.
Boundary Setting:
Notice if you have difficulty setting boundaries with others or saying no to requests or demands that conflict with your own needs or values. Recognise if you feel guilty or anxious when asserting yourself or prioritising your well-being.
Action: Practice assertiveness skills and learn to communicate your boundaries clearly and respectfully. Start with small, low-stakes situations and gradually work up to more challenging ones. Remember that setting boundaries is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and self-respect.
Emotional Regulation:
Pay attention to your emotional responses when you receive feedback or validation from others. Notice if your mood or self-esteem is heavily influenced by external praise or criticism.
Action: Develop strategies for regulating your emotions and building resilience in the face of both positive and negative feedback. Practice self-compassion and cultivate an internal sense of worth that isn't dependent on external validation.
Authenticity:
Consider whether you often present a different version of yourself to gain approval or acceptance from others. Notice if you withhold your true thoughts, feelings, or opinions for fear of rejection or disapproval.
Action: Practice being authentic and genuine in your interactions with others. Speak your truth with courage and vulnerability, even if it means risking disapproval or disagreement. Remember that authenticity fosters deeper connections and genuine relationships.
Seek Support:
If you're struggling to break free from approval-seeking behaviour, consider seeking support from a therapist, coach, or trusted friend or family member. A supportive environment can provide validation and encouragement as you work towards greater self-awareness and personal growth.
Action: Reach out to a mental health professional or support group to explore underlying issues contributing to approval-seeking behaviour and develop coping strategies and tools for building self-confidence and assertiveness. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength and courage in prioritising your well-being.