On Reflection
By Dan Glyde, Syndicated by Bin Day Blues
A compelling guest post by Dan Glyde, who recently went viral on LinkedIn but reflected on the post and its reaction. Dan's post, written casually from his bed on a Saturday morning, delves into his thoughts on the Euros and a moment of self-awareness triggered by his reaction to Jack Grealish not being picked for the England squad.
In this candid reflection, Dan explores the irrationality of snap judgments, his evolving relationship with football, and the broader implications for men's mental health. His experience highlights the importance of self-awareness and resilience, particularly in the face of online criticism.
Join us as Dan shares his journey of personal growth and the valuable lessons learned from engaging with his audience.
On Reflection
So this week I’ve gone micro viral on LinkedIn. We’re not talking millions of views but tens of thousands and way more than my content usually gets. I wrote the post sat in bed on Saturday morning. I wanted to do a post about the Euros because I’d realised two things that I wanted to share.
Firstly, I’d had a moment of self-awareness. When I heard that Jack Grealish hadn’t been picked for the England squad I caught myself thinking ‘good, don’t like Grealish, he’s a cheat and obsessed with his looks’. I realised that was a ridiculous opinion to have. Totally unfair and unfounded and based on very little knowledge about the man. I’ve barely even seen him play. I don’t know much about him at all. It was a totally irrational judgement.
Secondly, I realised the Euros were coming and it hadn’t been on my radar at all. And that to me felt unusual and remarkable. I love football. I’ve loved it most of my life. Probably since my early twenties. I developed a love for football because it connected me to my friends and family. It allowed me to release aggression in a controlled way with boundaries, indulge my competitive side and be part of a tribe. When I thought about it I realised I knew absolutely nothing about the tournament. Nothing. Nada . Zilch. Football has fallen way down my list of priorities. And I’ve turned from someone who would have watched every match to someone who will now only watch England and maybe the semi’s and the final.
Here’s the original post: Linkedin
On reflection, I think I could have written this better. One commenter accused me of poor journalism, and he's right, I should have explained my point about judgement better. Been really clear that my comment about Jack was supposed to be self-deprecating. Many have missed the point. Which says to me my communication has not worked. Good lesson.
But I have taken heart from the fact that I was correct in what I said. Many of the people who've commented on this rushed to judgement about me, without knowing who I was, or what state of mind I was in. So I had a point even if I didn't make it very well.
It was a post about self-awareness. And the reaction to it has been a great exercise in that. My ego wanted to go into battle. To defend myself and what I posted. To respond to the insults and ridiculous criticism. I didn't indulge that part of my mind. And that tells me my mental strength is where I want it to be.
But it also tells me that many men have poor mental health. If you've been triggered by my post and what I said about Jack you have poor mental and emotional health. You have poor self-awareness. You are giving your power away by allowing what someone else has said to upset you, to affect your peace of mind. The world needs strong men with strong minds. If you're insulting someone who has posted on social media because you don't agree with them, you have a weak mind. No wonder stress, frustration, anxiety and depression are at epidemic levels among men. No wonder suicide is a significant problem.
I was also struck by those calling me unkind and calling out my lack of understanding, whilst also being incredibly unkind to me and not taking the time to understand the point I was making. Incredibly self-righteous and weak-minded. Weak-mindedness in men is a significant problem.
Fortunately, I have a strong mind. I've worked very hard at that. And I have worked hard to get to a place where I don't care what other people think, I'm not affected by the opinions of others. But what if I wasn't in that place? What if I was weak-minded like all those who chose to insult me. Like one commenter who chose to call me a quim. Like we were 12 years old and in the playground. What if I was having a bad time mentally? What if my self-worth was at an all-time low? How badly could the insults and vitriol have affected me then?
Without being dramatic it could've been the final straw for all the keyboard warriors new. And that's the problem. Where's the brotherhood? Where's the allowance for different opinions? Where's the protect drive in men? How are we supposed to change the conversation when it comes to men’s mental health if this is how we behave towards each other. What the f**K? And this is the thing. Men are men’s own worst enemy.
Stress and frustration is a huge problem for men. For those who couldn't help but get very upset by this post, and with indignant righteous anger start insulting me and my intelligence, I would encourage those people to seek help and support. Poor mental health is no joke. Don’t wait until the heart attack or the divorce or the lost job or business before you decide to take a good long hard look at yourself. It’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility.
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Discover more about the author:
Dan Glyde - A transformational life coach and expert in men’s mental health and well-being, the founder of Positive Masculinity helping men authentically be themselves, breaking free from societal expectations, disregarding external opinions, and cultivating a 100% clear understanding of who they are. The core belief is that being true to oneself leads to absolute success.
Dan's coaching provides a supportive and empowering environment for men to explore their self-worth, navigate relationship challenges, clarify their goals, overcome obstacles, and ultimately, cultivate confidence, connection, empowerment, purpose, and clarity.
